Are You Happy?

Sunday, 3 March 2019

What is Happiness? Or at least, what are our respective definitions of happiness? Happiness is peace of mind, no looking over your shoulders, no late nights thinking about unpaid debts, no bothering about your mother’s ailing health.
It is complete and absolute freedom of mind with consciousness of everyday challenges around but having the willingness and strength to pull through. But with all the calm and tranquillity in a mind at peace, there is still a nagging urge at the back of our minds to achieve more, nothing might be wrong generally but there is usually still a void for improvement in wellbeing. Your family’s health is good enough, but there’s still the need to provide a healthier lifestyle. Your debts are settled but there’s still the need to make more money and go down the endless road of financial freedom, the endless road. Peace of mind is important and necessary, but it does not in any way undermine human aspirations and an individual’s need for more. 

Happiness might be having everything you want, financial freedom, success, health, property; the list goes on and on. But in all honesty, no man can really have everything he wants. For example, the rich want power, fame or simply to be richer and the attainment of these things only fuels people to chase after more. Happiness is a journey not a destination, we can’t “arrive” at being happy; it’s a continuous lifelong fulfilling process.

 Remember as children when we had toys or other valued possessions, we liked our toys and we enjoyed playing with them, in that moment we were happy. But when a sibling got another toy or attention was shifted to another item by people around us we automatically liked that other item, having less regard for the toy or item that made us “happy”. In reality we are not much different from children in that trait, as adults our level of maturity and contentment might have increased, but that contentment and satisfaction is being dictated by society. A woman who is single and searching cannot seem to find Mr. Right because all the charming and good men around might appeal to her, but society’s picture of Mr. Right is tall and handsome with a car, a house and a fat bank account. So she’s not happy until she finds that description because if she settles for otherwise, it won’t be impressive enough to people around her and quite frankly, it won’t be impressive enough to her - she won’t be “happy”. A young man would rather wear casual clothes because of comfort and simplicity but from the media, the movies, the blogs and the music videos; Gucci, Versace and Philip Plein are all evidence of a fulfilled life and an successful young man. So he flaunts his expensive watch on outings and on social media and people see that he is “happy” and aspire to attain this kind of happiness.
But the thing is there are no general requirements for happiness, it’s a unique state of mind, unique to every individual and if you haven’t found your own personal and unique happiness, the answer is simple, CREATE IT. Create your own personal paradise that only you can find solitude and contentment in. You shouldn’t have to attain certain things or have certain people in your life or be a certain kind of person and then convince yourself that you are happy that way. You shouldn’t have t o follow the general prescription or definition of happiness. The detrimental part of this society inflicted misinterpretation of contentment is that when we fall short of these fake requirements, we start to live in constant denial, denial of ourselves, our abilities and our importance as individuals. We live thinking little of ourselves. Be happy for who you are, for your friends, for family. Ignore the world’s opinions and filtered perceptions of what should make YOU happy, because only you know what makes you happy. Avoid toxic people and savour moments. Search deep down for the things that bring you joy and when you find them hold on to them. Live, love and be genuinely happy regardless of what it looks like to others.


Tezor Dedam is a writer for writing and consulting company, Graveur. Tezor is a fresh graduate of the department of Physics, University of Lagos. Apart from creating content for the Graveur, he is an avid lover of all things in particular!

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COVER PHOTO: Miguel Bruna by Unsplash

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