Let's Talk About The "When Will You Marry?" Syndrome in Nigeria, Shall We?

Monday, 4 February 2019
You’ve hit the detty 30, still single as a delicious pringle and the 'marriage watchers' around you start to push the 'panic button' a little harder for your sake. “Your mates are all married” “When are we coming to eat rice?” "When are we sharing asoebi?"

Hello beautiful people! Soo today I'm dropping something light on the blog to brighten up the 'Monday mood' a little.

Recently, a reader pointed out to me that I hardly discuss relationships and/or marriage here...and it's funny because I didn't even realize this. Anyways, I got y'all! This post is for the awon marriage watchers out there. You know who you are! ;)

You know...making indirect or blunt comments to single folk that constantly put them under the pressure to marry. There's a fine line between showing concern and just being plain overbearing, seriously. It's a different case if they directly asked for your input or advice.

On the real though, this topic is heavy. Nigerian culture holds marriage highly, which isn't a bad thing at all...don't get me wrong, but it’s the pressure that comes with it that’s just something else. It can lead young people to make the wrong choices; you know, seeing marriage as that thing you're obliged to do solely because you want Marriage Watcher-A or -B to get off your back, not because YOU actually met someone you genuinely want to spend the rest of your life with. It can lead to an unhappy, 'entrapped' marriage and/or divorce eventually. 

So beautiful brethren, I present to you the plaguing and possibly familiar moments when the symptoms of 'When Will You Marry?!' syndrome has reared its ugly head.

Your parents that once scolded you to stay home and stop going out too much suddenly start asking when your bringing home 'the one'. Will ‘the one’ fall from the ceiling? Abi crawl out from under your bed?

When you attend a younger sister or cousin’s wedding and people pat your back and start to console you by saying..."Don’t worry, God will do your own!"

The judgy looks people give you when you tell them you're a young, unmarried woman living on your own

You don’t get the same amount of respect as the next woman because you're not married and she's a Mrs (believe it or not, this is real)

Some people even start to ask what’s wrong with you and even go as far as questioning your sexuality

The extremely awkward moment when African elders unsolicitary (is this a word?!) try to matchmake you with their friend's auntie's daughter's son

You bring him/her home, he/she has all the good qualities (to you) but they're not Nigerian or from your tribe, and abomination: he sags his trousers below his knees, has tattoos and/or multiple piercings, she wears a full face of makeup and dramatic wigs.
African Elders:

Every slight mistake or move you make at home leads to... “Is this what you’ll do in your husband’s house?”

If you can’t prepare at least 57467464 different types of exotic dishes... are you really ready to make a home?

Okay now, you’re finally married and after five minutes of married life, you’re still not pregnant???

Are you guilty of all of this?! Congrats, you've successfully been diagnosed. Okay, I kid haha. But seriously, let's help each other out. Marriage is a beautiful union and some people may take more time than others. You may genuinely care for this person, but please reduce the pressure and constant hounding.
Have a beautiful week ahead!


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