15 Things You Should Know About Living in Lagos

Sunday, 4 February 2018

Don't let the tranquillity of the above photo fool you. It's really a jungle out here.
Here's a guide I came up with over the weekend...because as someone who has lived in Lagos for literally her whole life, it's highly mandatory that I unleash my inner tour guide :)

If you ever unfortunately-yet inevitably find yourself stuck in a 736754 mile long traffic jam for hours upon hours, don't be alarmed to find out that the reason for this hold-up could be a seven-centimetre over-expanded joint gap on the bridge or an inconsiderate driver who is making an "urgent" phone call that just couldn't wait.

When you have to catch the bus after waiting for half an hour and you're running late for work

But when will bus conductors ever have change?

After a long day of work and you sight the long queue at the BRT terminal

Walking through the rowdy marketplace, you firmly clutch your handbag to your sides and check every 5 minutes to make sure your phone, wallet and destiny are still intact.

You know how driving instructors tell you to drive like everyone else on the road is insane? Best advice ever. When you see pedestrians in Lagos looking both ways before crossing a one-way road, don't be surprised. I'm also guilty of this too and 4 out of 3 times, let's just say I'm glad I did. Apparently okada (motorcycle) riders are above the road laws.

When you get pulled over by the police and you get asked the most extremely irrelevant questions, it's not hard to smell the stench of ulterior motives. Flashback to the time we were pulled over by a female police officer and she went ahead to ask me what body lotion I use. Also, anyone ever notice the increasing number of police checkpoints around festive periods especially Christmas or is it just me?

There's African time and then there's Lagos Central Time. Seriously, that might just explain why no one here is ever on time. I'm not going to front and say I'm innocent here though :). In Lagos we're 3 hours behind. So by all means if it says 7pm on the invite, you need to show up at nothing earlier than 10pm. I attended an event last Christmas that was for 12noon, best believe I got there with my friends at 6pm and we ended up opening the gates with the organizers and bouncers. Yup. The show started at 9pm.

I've come to realize that Lagosians don't play when it comes to food. There's no way you're going to fully drive down a street in Victoria Island without passing at least seven restaurants or am I tripping? And the number of food-related festivals we have throughout the year is interesting.

If you've lived in Lagos, then you're definitely familiar with the acronym IJGB (I Just Got Back) aka Mr Steal Yo Girl. Rhymes with "Innit?" "Yeah?" and they show up at the end of every year (Christmas time). #Ifyouknowyouknow

The city with undying insomnia. There's truly no party like a Lagos party. Nightlife is great. Seriously. Although most Lagos clubs are a little too showy in my opinion. I mean, because it's soo compulsory to buy out the entire bar and a hundred bottles of alcohol that you really do not need. RIP liver.

I can't believe I nearly left out weddings! You haven't attended a wedding ceremony until you've attended one in Nigeria in general.

Racking your brain when you're trying to figure out where to hang out with your friends that doesn't involve food, waiters, sand, or cut-throat prices.

Taking off your wristwatch, necklaces, earrings, hats, jackets, other "expensive-looking" items and switching to Pidgin to discourage market traders from overpricing or upselling you stuff.

Last but definitely not least...more parties!

Check out more Out-on-the town Posts here

Have a great week ahead.
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gif source: giphy.com
cover photo taken at Freedom Park, Broad Street, Lagos Island, Lagos


2 comments on "15 Things You Should Know About Living in Lagos"
  1. You took my whole mind back to days when men wer boyz

  2. I laughed while reading this... So truee🙌🎊🎊


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